Rape Culture Stigma
Rape is not a foreign or unknown problem in American society. In fact, we commonly talk about rape culture as if it something we have to accept because what are we to do about it? It is completely understandable that we have landed here, as the idea of changing statistics like every 68 seconds a person experiences a sexual assault in the US begins to feel daunting. When we look at the problem at a cultural level it feels like too much and we often disconnect from how we can be a part of the change. It is important to understand and acknowledge the cultural messages that tell people that sex is a right, or a game or a competition. Looking to score is such common language we do not usually flag it or bring it to people’s attention. By letting these little moments slip by we are cluing in people in positions of power that we agree with them. Our silence plays a role which is why if we can acknowledge and talk about the influence of cultural norms on how we view sex and consent, we can start to understand how to prevent sexual assault.
We need to move from just blaming the individual to taking preventative measures to create a more open culture. Defining consent should be a normalized subject matter that all people are required to learn and given the tools to practice. For example, the next time you meet someone new ask them if you can shake their hand or if they would like a high five or a hug (as long as you are also ok with all of these greetings). It is a simple and wonderful way to practice consent and most importantly to FEEL how much better it is when everyone is on the same page. If we want to protect all people from being raped we must start talking about how consent can help to create safe and kind spaces.
These kind spaces open us up to hearing what it means to be a survivor. In this space, we can start to understand how we as the individual can be a part of decreasing the rates at which these crimes are happening. Inviting people in to share their story means that you are going to listen, believe and be present in any way that you can. When we help survivors face what happened we open up doors towards healing. When our culture becomes one of healed people, we also become one that is less likely to harm.
Right now, the message that is being sent to the survivor is clear: you are in some way responsible for this happening to you. For as long as our culture leans more towards “you deserved it” and less towards “I believe you,” we will continue to see epidemic rates of sexual assault. Often this complacency causes us to ignore the act and aftermath of rape, which leads to further feelings of depression and isolation.
The impact that our rape culture has on the ability for a survivor to heal cannot be understated; we currently ignore the reality of what it means to be a victim. There is nothing more silencing than a society telling a victim that what happened was their fault or did not happen at all. This is rape culture. It is what keeps survivors from being able to share their story without regret or fear of consequence.
If the goal is to end future incidences of rape from happening, we need to create a shift in our society and have open and honest conversations about sex and rape. Once we have opened this door, we can look at sexual assault through the lens of support and understanding. The removal of entitlement that currently revolves around sex will help bring healing for those who have faced this life-altering event. It is rarely stated, and often forgotten, that survivors of sexual assault do not suffer the assault just once in their lifetimes—they must repeatedly confront it throughout their lives.
The first step to creating a culture where more people are healed than harmed is admitting that rape is a part of our current culture. From there, we can finally build a system that favors the person who survived and overcame, showering them with support, resources, and understanding.
